


Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head

by maybesummer



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Happy Ending, M/M, Miya Atsumu has dumb thoughts, POV Sakusa Kiyoomi, SakuAtsu, Sakusa Kiyoomi is Bad at Feelings, i just really love sakuatsu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:15:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28026123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybesummer/pseuds/maybesummer
Summary: Sakusa didn't expect to go it like that, when he hears his soulmates thoughts for the first time.Because... ducks?!And with only one thought a day, it may take forever to find them.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 256





	Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head

**Author's Note:**

> hi there,
> 
> i read the prompt of this soulmate au somewhere and it stuck with me, so here's a sakuatsu au that i wrote down in about two hours.
> 
> not my proudest work, but i felt the need to share it.
> 
> there might be some slight swearing in this, so if you're uncomfortable with that, here's your warning!
> 
> hope you enjoy <3

[Ducks can fly, swim and walk on land. They're monsters... they can just go wherever.]

I stop in my tracks and stare at myself in the mirror. Ducks?!

“What the fuck...”, I whisper.

I didn't think that, so there's exactly one possibility. My soulmate thought that, and I heard it. Which means, I must have met them yesterday.

Yesterday. The day nationals have started... it's impossible to know just who my soulmate is. There were too many people. Other teams, from all over the country. The audience.

So, who are they?

My mind continues racing, trying to take guesses, while I finish in the bathroom. Komori is still snoring in his bed on the side of the room close to the window. I pull a face, but eventually step closer and poke his side.

“I'm going to leave for breakfast. We have to be ready in 40 mins to leave.”

Komori groans, and for a second I think he'll just turn around but he opens his eyes. “I hate that you like getting up early”, he mumbles.

“You'd be lost without it”, I step back from his bed and put on shoes. As I grab my keycard, I look back. “Get up.”

“Yeah, yeah”, he mumbles and sits up.

Him sitting up means he's most likely not going to fall asleep again, so I can leave. I look out for people in the hotel, people I might have seen yesterday, but I don't recognise anyone.

Some of my teammates are already there when I enter the cafeteria, and they wave for me to come over.

“Is Komori up?”, Iizuna asks almost immediately.

I simply nod, and they leave me be after that.

Throughout the day, we watch the matches going on. I forget about the whole soulmate thing over it, being too invested in guessing who we'll play against, in the excitement of playing tomorrow.

But the next day, after our team just walked in for our next day, I get reminded.

[Itachiyama High School... a lot of people think they'll win Nationals this year. Defeating them would be super cool.]

I look to the team on the other side of the net. Was it one of them? But all of them seem to be busy, talking, discussing. I won't figure it out today.

Komori already gives me confused look, and I realise they want to start warm-ups and drills, so I concentrate on that. I can figure shit out later.

Finals. It's the second set, we're winning.

I get in a service ace, and my team celebrates me. Winning feels good. But playing feels better.

The team on the other side doesn't give up. Inarizaki. They have a strange mix of people. Especially the twins. But our team is better.

We win, and Inarizaki stands defeated.

We line up to thank our fans, and in this exact second it happens again.

[I wanted to defeat Itachiyama. Now I have to wait until next time.]

I breathe in sharply, but only Komori hears. We bow down and call out our thanks.

“You're acting weird, Kiyoomi”, my cousin says.

“I met my soulmate a few days ago.”

Komori looks like he's going to faint at those news. “What?!”

“I've been hearing someone else's thoughts. One, every day. Since the day after we arrived here.”

We walk behind our teammates, and Komori winks at me. “Any idea who it is?”

I look up straight. “It must have been someone from Inarizaki.”

“Hm”, my cousin makes, and neither of us talk about it again.

The thoughts aren't very helpful to figure out who it is. My only hint is that it couldn't have been a third year from the Inarizaki team, because some of the thoughts keep complaining about school, homework, training.

The thing is - those thoughts are the exception. Most of the time, it's thoughts lile the first one I heard, with the duck.

Komori asks me about the thoughts sometimes, and each time he has a laughing fit for at least five minutes. One time, I ask him why he finds it so funny.

“Because they seem the exact opposite of you”, Komori says and takes a deep breath to calm down from laughing so hard.

And he's right.

It's the first time I wonder which of my thoughts he hears, and what he does when he hears them.

For the first time, I really wanna know who they are.

I get invited for a training camp.

And I figure it out.

[Kageyama Tobio... let's find out who's the better setter.]

Miya Atsumu. One of the annoying twins.

I barely know anything about him, except for the fact that... he's super annoying. And a great setter.

I wonder if he knows for a second then, if he has it figured out.

Komori gives me a strange look, and before he can figure it out, I mumble: “Too many strangers.”

Komori chuckles. “You'll be just fine.”

And it is fine. We play. I find out more about Miya Atsumu. That he's not only a great setter, but the best setter I ever played with. I don't tell him that, because I also found out that he's a little full of himself.

He's the complete opposite of me.

On the last day, Komori asks: “Is it Atsumu?”

I manage to pull myself together, and I answer: “I don't know.”

Komori doesn't believe me, at least not completely. But he accepts it. He can't talk over me about my own soulmate.

I keep up the lie of not knowing who it is over the years.  
I meet Miya Atsumu again and again, during games, nationals, camps. He gives me a nickname at some point, and at another point he manages to convince me to give him my number. But he never once talks about the soulmate thing.

Whenever I see him, it's the only thing on my mind. Does he know? If he does, why doesn't he talk about it?

In my third year, I get invites from quite a few teams. Some are better, offer better positions... But I dread the decision.

Atsumu's thoughts are about his future a lot more now too. It's only one per day, but that's enough. I know his brother doesn't plan on going pro. I know that Atsumu is struggling to make a decision just like I am.

In the end, my favourite is the MSBY Black Jackals... they offer me a position where I'd be a regular. Definitely better than most other offers.

At try-outs, I hear him call my nickname before I see him.

“Omi-kun!”

Atsumu looks at me with a bright smile. “Thank god I know someone.”

“Wouldn't that be my line? You're pretty social, Miya.”

He laughs. “Still. Already knowing someone is nice too. How have ya been, Omi?”

“Been alright.”

“Talkative as always.”

I roll my eyes. “You should know by now.”

He lets out a laugh. “Yeah, I know like three things about you, and one of them is that.”

“And the other two?”, I ask.

Atsumu frowns. “That ya love volleyball despite hating people and being a germaphobe, and thirdly, that ya have really nice hair.”

“Hair?”, I repeat, raising my eyebrows.

“Yeah. Sorry if that's weird”, he mumbles. “It's just... it looks really soft... Oh god, I'm sounding creepy, right? I just... god.”

I let out a snort. What an idiot.

He scratches the back of his head, and I almost believe he's blushing, almost.

“I think you know all you need to know if you know that second point”, I eventually say.

“Yer boring, Omi-kun! We might play on MSBY together, tell me your dark secrets.”

“I have eleven and a half bodies in my basement.”

Atsumu blinks.

“Half?”, he eventually mutters.

“That's what you're worried about?!”, I answer. “You should be more careful.”

He laughs. “I didn't know you could make jokes.”

“Now that's just straight up rude of you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Tell me something about me that I don't know. I get called rude hundred times a day.” Atsumu shrugs.

Oh, there is something that he doesn't know. But I sure as hell won't tell him.

The try-outs go well.

After it, Atsumu leaves pretty quickly, but he says his goodbyes to me. I catch myself smiling at him behind my mask, and I panic for a second.

I become a member of the MSBY Black Jackals, and the day I get the notice, I also get a text from Atsumu.

'I got in for Black Jackals~ Will we be teammates or enemies? :D '

I go for a simple reply - ' Teammates. See you at trainings, I guess'

Two weeks later, I have moved in, and am on my way to the gym.

[There's Omi!]

The sound echoes in my head, and a second later Atsumu catches up to me from behind. “Good morning!”, he sings.

“Hello”, I simply say.

We walk in together, and a shouting Bokuto Koutarou welcomes us. We met most of the team at try-outs, but Bokuto's energy is an overwhelming one.

Atsumu however seems to vibe with him.

Atsumu is able to get along with anyone, somehow, if he wants to. It keeps surprising me. He comes off as a jerk, usually. He's honestly confusing me - I still cannot grasp the concept of our combination. But I like him.

I definitely like him. Time passes, we play matches, training matches, and the first matches of the official season. The team keeps winning.

I start to get along with the people who are my teammates, and find my place. I enjoy life, and after another win I sit in the bus, overwhelmed and so, so happy.

Atsumu sits down next to me. He does it sometimes. He doesn't ask, but the first time he did he told me to say if I was uncomfortable. I am not.

He's surprisingly understanding of my boundaries. I get along with the team, but he's the one I like best. It confuses me, honestly, because he's annoying, and sometimes talks like he thinks he's God, and he's loud. But he's funny, he cheers up anyone, he's supportive, and gives his all. And he respects me.

Atsumu doesn't try to talk me today though, sometimes he does. But today he seems tired and he leans back with his eyes closed.

“Do you want the window seat?”, I offer.

He opens his eyes and looks at me surprised. “You, giving that up?”

“Just say no next time.”

“I- I wasn't saying no! Thanks for offering, Omi”, he smiles.

My heart skips a beat. Traitor.

He stands up, expecting me to walk out of the row, but I just shuffle over. He frowns.

“Hurry”, I say.

He shuffles past me awkwardly, and I notice that he's trying to avoid touches, until he flops down in the window seat. He's about to say something when we get hit by one of Inunaki's weird comments.

“Man, that's favouritism, Omi-kun”, he says from the row next to us.

“Don't call me that.”

“Are you not listening what I'm saying? Favouritism. You're proving it.” Inunaki laughs.

“It's just impossible to get it out of Miya. I tried.”

Atsumu snorts. “It's cute, isn't it? Omi-omi.”

Now Bokuto turns around. “Inu-san is right though. You have a favourite, Omi, and it's not me.” He pouts.

Atsumu laughs. “Yer my favourite, Bokkun.”

“Ouch”, Inunaki and Bokuto say in unison. Inunaki adds: “That must've hurt, Sakusa.”

“But Omi's my favourite too”, Atsumu says.

“You can't have more than one favourite”, Inunaki answers.

Atsumu shrugs. “I can.” He then turns toward the window, and closes his eyes. This conversation is over for him.

[Omi is my favourite. I wish he was thinking those thoughts I hear.]

I freeze.

And I decide that maybe I have to talk to him. Eventually.

I don't talk to him about it for another year and a half. Everything continues the same, just that Atsumu and I get closer. I eventually call him a friend out loud, and he almost cries at it - the team makes fun of him but they also say it's cute. At some point, in an interview, Atsumu says that I'm his best friend in the team in an interview. I sit and smile to myself happily. Atsumu gets along with everyone. Anyone could be his best friend.

I also allow Atsumu to touch me more, which confuses myself the most. I let him sort the presents we get it, and it's fun looking at them together. He still looks proud when I smile or laugh at his jokes, although it happens a lot.

I find myself thinking about him a lot, and everyday I wonder which thoughts he hears, and when he'll eventually figure out that it's me. But it never happens, the confrontation. The question never gets asked, “is it you?”

Hinata joins the team, and a good three weeks after, a conversation in the locker room almost has me slip up.

They talk about relationships, and Hinata eventually says that it's weirder than he thought, being on another team than Kageyama. It's no secret to us that they're soulmates and in a relationship, somehow. Hinata says they're not dating, but they're also not looking for anyone else. They have all the time of the world.

Barnes laughs at that and says he wouldn't want to miss one second of life without his wife.

They all chat, and Inunaki says he hasn't even met his soulmate, and that he can't imagine hearing someone's thoughts, and people sympathize with him and tease him because "he's getting old".

Atsumu slaps him on the shoulder. “I've met my soulmate years ago, apparently, and I still haven't figured it out. Their thoughts aren't helpful at all.”

They ask him many questions, like when, if he really doesn't have the slightest idea.

At one point, Atsumu says: “I wonder if they feel just as dumb as I do about not figuring it out.”

For a second, I'm glad I have my back turned to them. I looked down to my hand, and I notice it's shaking.

And eventually, someone asks me about it.

I turn around and look past Atsumu, somewhere between Hinata and Inunaki. “I know who it is.” I can't bring myself to lie.

“But you're not with them?”, Bokuto asks.

I shake my head.

“Why?”, Atsumu asks. “I wish I knew. I wouldn't hesitate.”

I shrug. “How do you bring up that topic? Hey, I heard your thoughts for years, and I think most of them are pretty dumb.”

The team laughs. Atsumu too.

“Honestly, he's right”, Barnes mumbles when it's quieted down. “I'm glad I figured it out the same time as she did. We were like, like that Spiderman meme!”

Atsumu laughs at that too. “Ya know, Omi, I don't think yer being fair. Talk to them.”

I scoff and don't say anything at all.

They leave me be, after that.

But in the hallway, Barnes pulls me over into a quiet corner. “Am I stupid, or is it possible that you- and Atsumu-”, he makes weird breaks and gestures wildly.

“Stupid“, I manage to get out.

Barnes grins. “Tell him! Omi, you fucking idiot.”

“Barnes, you hopeless romantic”, I roll my eyes. “He'd hate me now, wouldn't he? He said I'm not being fair.”

“Stop overthinking. Everyone ships you two. He won't care about the fact that you didn't tell him right away, he'll just... be super happy.”

“Maybe.”

“Not maybe. Listen, if he figures it out on his own, and realises you knew and didn't tell him... That'll be worse.” Barnes smiles. “I'm rooting for you.”

He walks away, and I follow him to start training.

Afterwards, I manage to time leaving the same time as Atsumu does.

He grins widely. “I feel so fuckin' great! If we play like this against the Raijins at the end of the week, they will cry themselves to sleep for a month.”

“My poor cousin”, I mumble.

Atsumu laughs. “Yeah, he's nice, I feel bad for him too. But Suna? God, I hope he cries and keeps 'Samu awake until they get sick of each other.”

“That's kinda mean.”

He laughs. “I don't mean that kind of shit I say. On another note, Omi, I'm feeling pretty amazing, so, wanna hang out? I have too much energy left.”

“Sure”, I agree.

Atsumu's eyes widen. I barely agree. “Whaddya wanna do?”, he says, his accent terrible. He blushes while still talking. I know he's trying to talk less in his accent, for being professional.

“So surprised?”, I tease him. “I don't know. Let's grab coffee and, I don't know.”

“Yeah, right. Forgot you don't know what's cool. Let's grab coffee. I know a place.”

We walk, and I try to gather up my courage, but we arrive first.

Atsumu orders first, then I go. I go with some caramel macchiato.

Atsumu is staring at me.

I raise my eyebrows.

“Caramel?”, he says, and his voice sounds weird.

“I like caramel coffee.”

“Huh”, he makes and goes back to looking at the baked goods.

“What?”

He shrugs. “Nothing. Nothing wrong with caramel coffee. Many people drink it, right?”

“You're being weird.”

“ 'm not.” He pouts. “It's just... A while ago, uh, they thought about caramel coffee.”

Yeah, sounds like me.

“While ago?”, I ask.

“Two weeks, I think”, Atsumu says.

And then I decide it's now or never. “Friday?”

Atsumu frowns. “Yeah, I think...”

“Must've been. Komori was in town and we met and got coffee”, I say.

Atsumu looks like he stopped functioning.

The barista hands over our coffees.

I grab both, because Atsumu isn't moving.

“No”, he eventually says.

I let out a sigh and offer him his coffee.

“Don't... don't do this to me.”

“I'm just trying to be fair now.”

He grabs the coffee. “How long have you known?”, he asks quietly, staring down to the ground.

“Long”, I answer unprecisely.

“Omi.”

“The first training camp. In second year”, I admit. “Before that, I'd figured out it must've been someone from your highschool... but during the camp you thought something that made it pretty clear.”

“That was over three years ago.” Atsumu looks weak.

I don't know what to say.

“I can't believe it.” Atsumu laughs. “You just lived and, and, knew, and didn't tell me? You befriended me, let me get close, but never managed to talk to me about this?”

“I'm sorry.”

Atsumu scoffs. “I think I'll drink my coffee alone. I'm not mad, don't worry. Not really. I just need to... get my mind wrapped around it.”

I nod. “Okay.”

And so I let him walk away.

And I have never felt more stupid.

Atsumu doesn't act any different at training the next day. He says hi, and I decide to give him space because he doesn't actually start a conversation. He goofs around with Hinata and Bokuto, and I stand a few meters away, trying to calm my racing heart.

He leaves the gym before me, and I stay behind overthinking it all. But when I walk out, he's standing there, leaning against the wall.

I stop in my tracks while he pushes himself off and takes a step into my direction. “You took yer time today.”

He smiles. “Wanna get coffee?”

I quickly nod. In this moment, he could've asked me to do whatever, and I would've said yes.

“You should've told me way earlier. Maybe not immediately after figuring it out, but you could've told me when we were on the same team. I would've liked to know.”

“Sorry. I... wanted to.”

Atsumu kicks a stone. “Yeah, well. God”, he says, “things would've been a lot easier for me if I had known.”

“What do you mean?”

He chuckles. “It's a shit situation when you're catching feelings for someone but you don't know what to do because you don't know who your soulmate is, and is it them? Is it someone else? Am I only getting myself hurt if I like this person? Is there a chance? And added to all that, you get the overanalyzing the signals. Mixed signals.”

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, Atsumu.”

He smiles. “ 'm not Miya to you anymore?”

“I always called you that in my mind.”

“Why'd ya have t' make it so hard for me?”, he laughs. “All this time, you've secretly been a whore for me.”

I cringe visibly. “Don't say it like that.”

“Omi-omi, don't be embarrassed”, he softly shoves me, his elbow against my arm.

I push back, and Atsumu looks surprised. His touch, that was one that was allowed, he knew that, because of the training jackets we're wearing. But I never once reacted like that. I don't touch back.

Atsumu eventually smiles like a child on Christmas. And then he looks at me and says: “I'm so happy it's you. Now I can let myself fall.”

And time seems to stop. It's just him and me.

And I think, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Because I do. I'm in love with him.

And Atsumu smiles even wider. “I love you too”, he says.

“I'm home”, Atsumu calls out, and he stands in the door a second later, the grocery bags in his hands. He smiles.

I look away from my book and move from the weird position I was in, and almost fall off the sofa. I hear Atsumu chuckle, and then walk away.

“Atsumu”, I call out.

He doesn't answer, so I stand up and walk to the next room, to see him stand in our kitchen, his whole face red.

“Did- Did'ya hear that thought”, he mumbles.

“No?”, I answer.

He lets out a sigh. “Thank god. I thought that's why you shouted.” He flashes me a smile. “What's the matter, love?”

“You do realise that I wanna hear the thought now”, I give back. “What I wanted isn't that important.”

“Uh, yes it is. Wha' did ya want?”

“Atsumu”, I say.

He pulls a face. “No, I'm not telling you.”

“Come on, I heard it all by now. I've been listening to your shitty thoughts for almost eight years. It can't get any worse”, I try to convince him.

“It was cheesy though”, he mumbles.

“Oh, then I definitely heard worse things of you.”

He softly punches my chest. “Stop.”

I grab his arm and pull him close. “Tell me. I love hearing your thoughts.”

“Unlucky then that ya didn't hear this one”, he says.

I wrap my arms around him and let my head rest very comfortably on his shoulder. “Ya don't even have to look at me right now. Just say it.”

Atsumu chuckles. “I'm just really, really in love with you.”

“Say it.”

“Okay, okay. But I think I wanna see the look on yer face”, he softly pushes me away. “I just thought, coming home to you like that, I thought, I wanna marry you.”

He smiles.

And I pull him close again. “Let's get married then.”


End file.
